There are way to many of us that think expressing that you have and suffer from depression is a big no no. We have some how got it put into our heads that it should be a big huge secret...It shouldn't be. The more it is talked about, the more people are going to see that they are not alone and get the help they need. I suffer from it and have my whole life. This is why at the age of 15 it was so easy to become addicted to cocaine and vodka, crack pipes and bottles. I am thankful every day that I am scared of needles because that high that heroin gives ya I heard is the best high ever. Soon and for many years after my addiction started, I also became a cutter. I self harmed because that was the only way I knew how to express myself without others knowing I was hurting. I went for years and years self medicating in bad ways. After I sobered up I learned that its ok to speak up. So, here I go....
I have over 6 years of sobriety....and out of all those years I think I went through one year of not being pregnant or breast feeding. I also decided that I didn't want to be chemically dependent on any drug to help with my depression. Being pregnant with my 6th child I have been through the crazy hormones a few times. Depression gets worse and many other things happen. The other day I started feeling a way I had never felt before. I couldn't describe it and I was going crazy cause I had been feeling it off and on the whole pregnancy but this time I finally got fed up enough to ask for help from other moms. I have an awesome following on one of my social media accounts...but my following consists of a lot of business women and I didn't want to be spammed. I made that clear. I asked who suffers with depression and what they do for it. Now most of them know I am prego and believe it or not...NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON SPAMMED ME THEIR BUSINESS LINK!!
I actually got a lot of advice on what to do, what it could be and best of all I saw that more women were going through it also...and we are prego at the same time.
What I learned
Beside it being the obvious factor of me being knocked up and hormonal.....ok that's about all it is. My hormones are and will go crazy. I know this but as I said before this was a feeling I had never felt before. This feeling as one mom said was a feeling of void. Like nothing. I wasn't sad, happy, angry. Nothing. I just couldn't think, I wanted to sleep. I didn't want to do shit. I told my husband..I was just empty. The advice I was given (but before you read it know that you should always talk to your doc...they can help you out also) was to go outside more, exercise (not gonna happen), talking, going out with hubs, taking time to myself. All things we tend not to do for ourselves. I was also advised to look into essential oils. Best of all I had a few women that messaged me to talk. I felt bad for one lady who for some reason I thought she needed to know all this, had to hear how hubs and I met and all the hell we have been through. Poor lady. BUt I was great just getting things off my chest. So, moral of the story, is if you are not feeling like yourself it is and always will be ok to ask for help and advice...and of anyone judges you, that's on them, they don't want to face their own demons and get better.